Monday, October 29, 2007

Up Heaven's Slope/Revised

"Up Heaven's Slope"
Dedicated to Our Kedoshim


Up heaven's slope wearily trod
stooped figures transparently grey,
memories of long before had been …
For them we clamor that this day
shall happen Never Again!

Why wrenched from hearth and home
O'er hills and fields whence they came
while dreaming did thus freely roam
Awaken morn cold and lame

Unlike Goliath in days of old,
A dark travail numbed,
that even David who fought so well
soon that night succumbed.

Prayerful hopes shoes be found
for souls bereft and torn,
a moment to rest, a breath to breathe
for spirits dulled and worn.

Should there not have been the one
for whom faith steadfast but rare,
that his would be ennobled by Thee
to seek his just and fair?

Who glimpsed the light but touched it not
whose spark had begun to wane
next day ere long gathered clouds again
for fewer who remain.

Bowed under lash by day,
by night a storm did rage
Why had He not shown His way
a war He would have waged?

Still in death's kingdom reigned
a way, a light, a day,
when dawn’s rising would eyes see
of whom did faith sustain.

Aside bodies on planks they lie
whose heat what little remain,
dreaded welcome soon might bring
next to whom they had just lain.

The world we choose can point the way
down paths long sought by peace,
in whose gardens we plant the seeds
lest memories tragically cease.

Revised 10/29/07

Alan D. Busch, copyright 2007

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Dedicated to the Kedoshim ...
"Up Heaven's Slope"

Wearily they trod up heaven's slope,
fatigued, in pain, forlorn
awaiting freedom desperately
that soon it might be born.

Prayerful hopes shoes be found
for souls bereft and torn,
a moment to rest, a breath to breathe
for spirits dulled and worn.

A moment’s dark travail numbed
Goliathan was the fight,
even David who had fought so well
soon that night succumbed.

Why wrenched from hearth and home
O'er hills and fields whence they came
while dreaming did thus freely roam
Awaken dreaded morning cold and lame

Marched back and forth thin and wane
stooped figures transparently grey,
next day ere long gathered clouds again
for fewer who remain.

Should there not have been
the one for whom faith
steadfast but rare,
that his would be enobled by Thee
to seek his just and fair?

Who glimpsed the light but touched it not
whose spark had become so dim,
for them we say such a day,
Never Again! Never Again!

Bowed under lash by day,
by night a storm did rage.
Why had He not shown His way,
A war He would have waged.

Still in death's kingdom reigned
a way, a light, a day,
when dawn rising would eyes see
of whom did faith sustain.

Aside bodies on planks they lie
whose heat what little remain,
dreaded welcome soon might bring
next to whom they had just lain.

The world we choose can point the way
down paths long sought by peace,
in whose gardens we plant the seeds
lest memories tragically cease.

Alan D. Busch, copyright 2007

Sunday, October 14, 2007

I Look at You ...

I look at you

Quietly thinking,

Words so many dare I speak.

Return my stare,

Hear you wondering …

Worrisome concerns, burdens linger

Many the questions still unuttered

Hints of solitude do I seek?



None I say but truth be told,

Fears are mine I’ve become too old,

Though age, its distance not yet torn

plagues me, hopelessly forlorn.


Those moments when closeness none more

Beseeching you in words unspoken

Whether you, I, we will be as time before …


It’s not my fault life’s changes did befall

My body shakes, my speech stumbles,

Hard to say and for you to hear,

What hope is there to come this year?

I think back to touches when

In hours abandon,

Gaity, laughter,

Together we spent

Now our posture is so different

My life as is I resent.

Passionate kisses, bodies aflutter,

holding you then as mine alone,

When we were is no longer,

So many questions yet to utter.


Alan D. Busch

10/14/07

Friday, October 12, 2007

Lamentations

“Lamentations”

The pain of a broken heart is reminiscent of

bereavement. My marriage to Kallah ended after a brief fifteen

months, a mournful experience not unlike the personal grief from which

I have suffered since November of 2000 when my first-born child

Benjamin died.

The three weeks prior to the Tisha b' Av is a period of time when we

purposely deny ourselves many enjoyments and comforts culminating

in this solemn fast day characterized by the reading of the

Book of Lamentations, communal mourning for the destruction of the

Beis Ha Mikdash and a heightened awareness of our Jewish

national identity. Our tradition holds that many other historical

tragedies befell the Jewish people on this joyless day.

It happened toward the end of the “Nine Days.” Minyan was scheduled

for 8:00 that evening. Arriving about fifteen minutes early, I saw

an elderly man sitting in the social hall. He appeared to be preoccupied though

patiently awaiting Mincha. He looked sad, so I approached him with a smile.

"Good evening, Sir,"

"Good evening," he responded, seemingly happy someone had come

by to chat with him.

“I was worried we would not have a minyan. It's nearly 8:00 o’clock

now, and I've yahrzeit for Maariv.”

"Oh," I sought to quickly reassure him. "We'll have a minyan.

Guaranteed. Please do not worry about that. Your name is, Sir?” I

asked.

"Talisman, Irving Talisman," he said.

I saw he had almost said "Yitzhak," his Hebrew name, but chose not

to do so. I looked at him intently. He was dressed in casual slacks, a pale yellow

golf shirt and a perspiration stained cap, his focus on

my words suggested that he was a bit hard of hearing.

"Reb Talisman," I addressed him. "For your wife, your parents,

you have yahrzeit?” Twisting his left forearm over with the

assistance of his right hand, he revealed the six green

numbers. I was speechless. I had seen such tattoos before, but the manner in which

he exposed it staggered me. His quiet dignity left me unsure if he bore the tattoo

as a badge of honor or shame. He looked up at me with glistening eyes

and whispered "my parents.” His eyes, sunken and sallow, were

underscored by dark rings-an image almost as indelible as his

horrific tattoo. I just wanted to take care of this man.

"This way, Reb Talisman," inviting him toward the Rabbi Aron &

Rebbitzen Ella Soloveitchik Beis Ha Medrash. I accompanied him

down the hallway. Together we opened the door. Reb Talisman

paused. "Should we enter? There seems to be a bar mitzvah lesson

going on." Indeed there was.

Looking quite grumpy after a typically long day of meetings,

Rabbi Louis was finishing up with the bar mitzvah bocher after

discovering that a ceiling ballast had blown out. It was an especially

busy night at shul. The sisterhood was holding a program and the

junior minyan was learning with Rabbi’s son. Seeing that I was

escorting an elderly gentleman to minyan, Rabbi saved his upset for

the next two hapless fellows who followed us in after we had shut

the door.

"Close it!" Rabbi barked.

"Abba, it’s 8:05, time for Mincha. We have a minyan," announced

Rabbi’s older son who, as it happened, was one of the two who came

in after us.

I directed Reb Talisman slowly toward the one chair unlike any

other in the beis medrash, a comfortable seat though not of the

stackable variety, well-cushioned and distinctively but peculiarly

pink in color. It had been the favorite of Reb Helman, the late father

of Rabbi Louis's wife Saretta. When I turned to check on him

however, he had chosen to sit by the “omed” opposite the Ark.

“As long as he’s comfortable,” I thought.

Rabbi Louis gave a klop on his shtender. "Ashrei yoshvei

v'secha,” we davened Mincha after which Rabbi lectured about

the laws of Tisha B’ Av. Several minutes later, we prayed the Maariv

service, but, by which time, I had lost all my concentration. Now I

know one should look to the heavens should he feel his devotion

waning, but I simply could not. I was thinking of Kallah. She filled my

head, and I knew she'd not be there when I arrived back home. I closed my

siddur and stared out the window.

"Maybe she'll pass by," I mused, "or drop in to see me." I turned to

the doorway thinking I had heard a feminine voice.

“Oh … just one of the younger guys,” I muttered to myself.

"Amen. Yehey shmey rabba ..."

The beis medrash emptied. I escorted Reb Talisman to his car.

"Good night, Sir," I smiled.

"Good night," he said. I touched his arm comfortingly.

I watched as he got in his car and drove away. I fumbled for my keys.

"There surely has to be a lesson here," I reflected, turning on the

ignition. During the minute that it took me to drive home, I

fantasized about seeing her car in the driveway, but realized

The One Above had sent Reb Talisman to remind me others are

grieving too. An act of chesed brought a smile to an elderly Jew.

How I would have liked to share this story with her … perhaps tomorrow.

Alan D. Busch

Revised 10/12/07